dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
