shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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