Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
