I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
