Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
