My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
