you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish i was in the wii world.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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