a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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