How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
