Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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