If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
