Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
