she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
