would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
