Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize