At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize