At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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