bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
worst night to have a conscience
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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