White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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