Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
