on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
