Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize