i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
