i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
