In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
