i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
