Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have aggressive nipples.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
