I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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