Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
