This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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