Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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