Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
