well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
