That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
