White coat. Heels.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
