nut hugger
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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