I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
