Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
