By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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