My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
