I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
