Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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