i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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