I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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