Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
