Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My vagina just recognized that song.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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