When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
