Don't make out with my wife yet
this boner is exhausting
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize