I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
