I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
