marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize