We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
