Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
