I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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