I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
