This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize