I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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