Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She just used a chaser for red wine.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
