He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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