Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize