I love watching others lives come down to our level.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
