This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize