cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
