Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
