My brain says no but my pants say off.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Life is so much better after having sex.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
