lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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