Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
