So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
