I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
