everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
