Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
