maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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