Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
