I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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