For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
